as-salamu ‘alaykum,

My mother, is not an educated woman, but is a very wise lady. She has her own story, being an only child whose mother died when she was so young that she doesn’t clearly remember her. My maternal grandmother was a second wife and so my mother was raised by her stepmother in a family of brothers, after her own mother had passed on.

When I was growing up my mother used to relate to me hadiths and other masa’il, like most kids I laughed them off thinking it was just my mum being a mum and telling me old wives tales. Later in life I found out that whatever my mother had told me as a child growing up was true and I am now able to appreciate a lot of the things she used to tell me. She has always been a very sufistic person, always in dhikr and ibadah, patient and always with a good word for everyone.

One thing my mother told me was a saying in urdu “pehlay baat towlo, phir bowlo” which means: “First, your words you must weigh, then say” in other words, you must always assess the gravity of the words that you say especially in anger, I have always tried to hold this principle and have been mindful of it, like everyone I probably lapse but the thing is to realise that you have lapsed and endeavour not to do it again.

The tongue as been the subject of a number of many prophetic warnings:

Narrated by Aslam – Malik transmitted it in al-Muwatta.(Mishkat): One day when Umar went in to visit AbuBakr as-Siddiq and found him pulling his tongue, he said, “Stop! Allah forgive you!” AbuBakr replied to him, “This has brought me down to dangerous places.” [4869]

Narrated by Abu Musa – Transmitted by Sahih Bukhari: Some people asked Allah’s Apostle (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), “Whose Islam is the best? i.e. (Who is a very good Muslim)?” He replied, “One who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hands.” [Vol 1:#10]

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah – Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it. (Mishkat): Allah’s Messenger (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam) said, “Do you know the thing which most commonly brings people into Paradise? It is fear of Allah and good character. Do you know what most commonly brings people into Hell? It is the two hollow things: the mouth and the private parts.” [4833]

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah – Ahmad and Bayhaqi, in Shu’ab al-Iman, transmitted it. (Mishkat): A man said, “Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a great extent in prayer, fasting and almsgiving but she annoys her neighbours with her tongue.” He replied, “She will go to Hell.” He said, “Messenger of Allah (Sal-allahu-aleihi-wassallam), such and such a woman has a reputation for engaging to a small extent in fasting, almsgiving and prayer, but she gives pieces of curd as sadaqah and does not annoy her neighbours with her tongue.” He replied, “She will go to Paradise.” [4992]

The tongue is the most easiest to lose control of, such a small piece of flesh but it can be the most damaging to the one whom it is used against and to the one who uses it! May Allah grant us control over it and give us patience. Amin

wa’as-salam

Mas’ud

www.masud.co.uk